Role Reversal
by Sashocirrione
Summary: L wins and ends up with Light as his prisoner. But the prisoner takes a strange sort of advantage of the captor, as L is suffering from a debilitating problem.
1. Secrets

**Title:** "Role Reversal"

**Author:** Sashocirrione

**Spoilers:** MAJOR Spoilers up to chapter 58 of the manga, episode 25 of the anime. Partial spoilers for the ending of the manga series, but only in a way that is vague, with canon details mixed with completely made-up details.

**Warnings:** NO UNDERAGE READERS. Sexual activities, some of which go into the dubious consent category until things get cleared up later as consensual. Sexual harassment. Threats of violence. Mentions of torture but no in-story torture. A character thinking about rape.

**Summary:** L wins and ends up with Light as his prisoner. But the prisoner takes a strange sort of advantage of the captor, as L is suffering from a debilitating problem.

**Pairing:** LightxL

**Additional Notes:** All canon events previous to the beginning of this fic have happened as normal, except as explained in the very intro part of the fic.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

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**CHAPTER 1: Secrets**

Light's room was exactly fifteen paces long and ten paces wide. The walls, ceiling and floor were smooth, featureless metal, except for one wall which was extremely thick chimp-proof acrylic glass, on the other side of which resided Light's voice-activated television. There was nothing inside his cell but a bed, a small table, a toilet, a sink, and, during his meals, the food tray and its contents.

The only real contact with anything or anyone outside his room came when L or Watari slid that food tray through a slot in his door, or every three days when Light was led by Watari to a shower that held only the bare essentials and a new change of clothing. It was difficult to live with the status of being defeated and isolated. Light's own former speech to Ryuk often echoed in his mind.

_If Kira loses, he's a criminal. But if Kira wins, then he's justice. The winner makes the rules._

Everything, everything had hinged on predicting Rem's actions correctly, and that's where it had all gone wrong. Light had never seriously thought about losing. He'd forced himself not to think that way throughout his plan, because if losing was a real possibility then...

_...then everything I've done is for nothing. If there's no utopia, then it was just a series of criminal acts. Focusing on winning as the only outcome had been necessary to keep my will strong, to keep up the courage to..._

But people had died as everything unraveled. Higuchi was the first, dying as a result of Rem's panic while L began the interrogation over the headset. In retrospect, it was obvious why. Rem had stupidly recruited Misa to help, and so Higuchi had to be killed quickly, before he might say something that would be highly incriminating for Misa. In Rem's fearful state, she had acted a minute too early and crumbled to dust.

Next, Mogi had died when Light regained his memories in the helicopter, realized Mogi had become the owner of Higuchi's notebook by holding it at the moment of death, and killed Mogi to keep his own memories intact. Chaos and suspicion were far too high after that, but Light had managed to navigate through it all as best as could be expected. The next issue had been a very complex series of problems involving Misa and the fact that L was once again using tails and tracking devices to keep tabs on every move his suspects made.

Solving that issue had involved controlling Wedy, Misa and Aizawa, of course leading to their deaths within twenty-three days, but the plan had gone seriously sour two weeks in, and L had definitively won. Light was still haunted by the way he'd emotionally unraveled at that point, trying to write his own father's name, screaming for the dead to help him, shaking and laughing and crawling on the floor and calling for Ryuk to kill them all.

Ryuk was already gone before then; they'd burned Misa's death note and he'd flown free. If Ryuk had been there, Light wondered if it would have all gone differently, if the monster would have saved him or perhaps even killed him for the arrogance of asking a shinigami to sacrifice its own life.

He didn't want to think of the process of defeat and his breakdown into a gibbering mess. It was so clearly the actions of an insane person, just as L had said at the scene. Despite the dry tone of L's voice, even L had seemed deeply unsettled.

Light closed his eyes and turned over, pressing his face into the mattress as he cursed his active mind. With nothing to do, it kept replaying the events over and over again throughout each day, and each time he went through the sequence, he felt a bit worse about the Kira plan than he had before. He was indignant, terribly indignant that he'd lost, but he was seeing more and more how audacious his plan had really been, how he should have given up when he could have still done so comfortably. It had been insane to continue after becoming the prime suspect.

_Insanity... but isn't that what I predicted from the beginning? I knew I would sacrifice my sanity if I killed so many people. I thought of it as a noble sacrifice, but I should have thought of it as a weakness that would lead to my defeat._

And then, afterwards, there had been the utter shock and humiliation at not being executed, but instead being simply taken into L's special custody.

Light had said, "You're... protecting me?"

L had given Light one of the most venomous glares he'd ever seen in his life and said, "I'm not protecting _you_. I'm protecting the world. If there is one serial killer who deserves to be tortured endlessly by government agencies, Kira would be that killer. I will not hand you over to the authorities because there are already plans by over thirty governments to obtain Kira for weaponization purposes. Kira's secrets must be buried."

Light had understood instantly. He could imagine the rest. Kira's power really was the ultimate power, beyond any other method of mass destruction or warfare, and even if the notebooks were all unobtainable, knowledge of death notes and shinigami should be kept from anyone who might want to abuse that knowledge.

The only thing he didn't understand was why he hadn't been given a quick field execution. Throughout the days of his captivity, he'd never thought it was wise to ask why, to draw attention to his continued life. If asked, might L change his mind on a whim?

Or perhaps L had already decided on an execution and was only waiting to make sure no new developments or sudden deaths occurred, trying to clear up every last loose end first.

Light's hands fisted into the blankets. He didn't want to die. Escape wouldn't be easy, and L had already shown him plenty of evidence of just how many pro-Kira groups had been infiltrated by agents working for governments, organized crime, or other shadowy groups hoping to snatch Kira if he should ever appear again. Escaping and running to Kira supporters would not be an option, but nothing else was a very good option for getting out and staying alive, either.

No, escape wouldn't be easy. It would be impossible, insane.

The worst L could come up with didn't compare to the threat formed by every power-hungry organization in the world just waiting for the chance to torture Kira endlessly, a Kira who might not even have any relevant memories by that time.

Light heard the metallic sliding sound of the food-slot opening and he rolled over, sitting up and trying to look presentable. No food tray came in, though.

Instead, Light heard L's voice, thin and ragged, saying, "There will be a change in your schedule. In your... sleeping arrangements."

Light waited, and when nothing further was said, answered, "Yes?"

"You will be sleeping... ah... in a different bedroom. This new bedroom is also escape-proof. Watari will take you for a shower in fifteen minutes and deliver clean pajamas for you to sleep in."

_I get pajamas? And a different bed?_

Light opened his mouth to ask a question, but the food-slot slid closed, and there was nothing to do until Watari arrived to take him through what seemed like the normal shower routine, except for the folded blue pajamas sitting out there on the bench.

While Light showered, the possibility occurred to him that perhaps he'd be gassed to death in the new bedroom. Maybe his old cell wasn't suited to gassing, for some reason. The notion settled over him as a tight knot in his stomach and a hyper-aware alertness.

Though he was blindfolded and shackled on the way to the mysterious bedroom, he was almost painfully aware of the feeling and taste of every breath he took, the weight and pressure of his clothing on his skin and the sound it made as he walked, the cold, slick linoleum floor under his feet, the clacking sounds of the metal chains, and the way the handcuffs and ankle cuffs pressed just a bit into his skin as Watari roughly guided him along.

Unseeing all the way, he was guided through several hallways, up a short flight of stairs, and into another room, before being pushed onto a bed, and then he ventured to pull off the blindfold in time to see Watari rearrange the cuffs and chains so that Light had his right wrist and his right ankle connected to the bedposts by long chains. There was enough length for any sleeping position.

As Light looked around, Watari said, "Do not be fooled by the more home-like appearance of this room. It has the same security measures as your own cell."

Just then, a door opened and L stumbled into the room. He looked worse than Light had ever seen him before, his face drawn and haggard, his eyes bloodshot, and the circles under his eyes darker and puffier than ever.

L glared and, in the same strained tone as before, said, "This is an experiment. It seems that my body has become too accustomed to your presence in bed and refuses to sleep without you. Even I have my limits."

Immense relief washed through Light, at the thought that _this_ was all it was, instead of a gassing. It was almost funny, and Light had to hide a smirk as he watched L wriggle out of his jeans and then wearily crawl into bed, with his usual bedtime outfit: the same white shirt he wore throughout the day, plus cotton boxers.

L settled under the blankets and turned his back. Light could practically feel the defeat oozing off of him. It was an exciting and delicious event, especially after so many days of monotony. As Light's mind began spinning out various possibilities, he also saw that this could be the beginning of a better life.

The great L was vulnerable in this one way. It would be an excellent negotiation point to use for a better living area and for more activities to break up the monotony, perhaps even detective work. L had plenty of cases, more than he could ever personally attend to.

Watari said, "Light, I will be watching at random intervals. At any particular time, you will never know if I'm observing or not. However, if you injure L, I will personally execute you. Is this clear?"

"Yes," Light answered immediately.

Watari turned off the light and exited the room, the door closing with that odd mechanical sound that meant it was a high-tech security door, rather than the plain wooden door it appeared to be.

Being out of the cell, it was simply too stimulating for sleep to be possible. Light stared and stared at the white fabric covering L's back, the shirt almost seeming to dimly glow in the darkness. L's hair was spread out in all directions, an inky smear against the blankets and sheets. L sighed and shuffled, rolling over several times into new positions, but remaining agitated, worked up. He looked thin, his body slumped as never before, and his sighs and little noises were laced with audible frustration.

Light rolled onto his side, turning his back on the proceedings, and had just started to think deeply when he heard and felt L roll close to him, just slightly behind but near enough to depress the bed.

L draped an arm across, as he did so saying, "I'm sorry. It seems that my body is not acknowledging your presence, and so I must do this."

Light froze, astonished at L's uncharacteristic closeness. L continued to wriggle closer bit by bit, hesitantly, his arms clutching, his hot breath on the back of Light's neck preceding his chin lodging there, his slim hips snuggling right behind Light's own.

Every part of L was very close, very intimate, plastered tightly along Light's backside from his neck to his knees, breathing and shivering against him. L's long, spidery fingers tangled in the fabric covering Light's chest, anchoring themselves there, and then L let out a huge sigh.

It was strange. It was uncomfortable, too close, too much. Light wanted to say something, and he opened his mouth several times, ready to speak, but each time couldn't quite figure out what to say and stayed silent instead. It wasn't as if it would do any good. Would L stop it because of a complaint? Would Watari?

_No, if L is truly this desperate, to admit defeat this way, then he is probably unwilling to take any measures that might disrupt his sleep process, and Watari will support L's ideas about his own medical needs unless those ideas are very clearly in the wrong. Besides, if I did chase L off successfully, it might negatively impact my chances of getting a better life._

Light breathed carefully in the stillness, staring out into the dim outlines of the room, getting used to the warm weight snuggled tightly against his back. It was not at all like their shared sleeping experiences before. Back then, Light would usually go to sleep long before L, and he'd occasionally wake up in the middle of the night to an accidental tangling of legs or to torsos bumping into each other, but L would merely blink and roll away. In the morning, L was invariably up first.

This exhausted, fragile version of L, in need of a human touch, was something quite different and unexpected. Light's mind worked at trying to decipher it. To run through these possibilities instead of endlessly reliving Kira's defeat was a real relief, a break for Light's weary, jaded mind.

But it wasn't a relief for long. The numerous possibilities narrowed down to pretty much just one as Light felt and heard the evidence. There was the unmistakable sensation of L's growing erection nestled tightly against the back of Light's thigh. That may have been enough evidence just by itself, but it was accompanied by L's grip getting tighter, L's breath speeding up, getting rougher and surprisingly hot against the side of Light's neck. And then there were the little shifts of position, a just-perceptible grinding motion that pressed the erection harder against Light's thigh and then his butt.

Alarming prickles spread all across Light's body, a heightened sense of danger. He imagined L forcibly raping him and he knew he'd fight back but he didn't know if it would actually work with the chains impeding him and L having all the power in the situation. Even with a sexual attack, Watari might still side with L.

Light waited and waited for the mild molestation to transition into an all-out assault, for L to go far enough that a punch to the face would be an easily-justified reaction. Light's body was suffused with a warm flush, every muscle keyed-up and ready to react, adrenaline running high like a strong dose of caffeine, giving a jittery feeling.

Instead of the waited-for assault, Light merely got L's continued heavy breathing, L's arms still clutching around Light's chest awkwardly, and a gradual slowing of the grinding until Light wasn't even sure whether it was happening any more.

In time, even the breathing slowed and the erection softened, and L was limp and soft all over, so very soft that he had to be asleep. After what felt like many hours, Light drifted off as well, clutched in the arms of his strange captor. When he woke up, L was gone, and Light was led back to his usual cell, staying there until the next sleeping session two days later.

That second time, L looked a bit less haggard, but other than that everything was nearly identical to the first time. L was frustrated, L couldn't sleep unless he was grasping Light from behind in a spooning cuddle, and that cuddling inspired an erection and other suggestive behavior that was initially alarming but ultimately went nowhere.

From then on, a sleeping-together session occurred at intervals of once every two to five days. L seemed rather sour about the entire arrangement. He didn't talk much, he was obviously upset, and he seemed to want to simply go through with it and get it over with as quickly as possible.

With the passing of yet more and more sessions, what had been frightening gradually became less scary, and more intriguing, as Light came increasingly to the conclusion that L was determined to never proceed any further, and that L had the stubborn willpower necessary to stick with that plan.

It was really the only exciting thing happening in Light's life, and his body started anticipating it, responding to L's closeness and erection with his own physical arousal, adrenaline still running high but for an entirely different reason. L must have noticed the change, but he never did or said anything to indicate so, and this made the situation feel all the safer, curiosity and intrigue growing and growing in Light, consuming his mind and inflaming his desires.

How would L respond to sexual play? What would his face look like, and those eyes, at the moment of climax? How imaginative would he be as a lover? The speculations began to take a central place in Light's mind, a welcome distraction from the regret of everything that had gone wrong. L's mouth and skilled fingers loomed large in his imagination, tormenting him pleasurably in many dreams.

And then, at last, the resolve grew to say something, to do something, to forever break the stalemate that L obviously had with his own desires. Light knew it was only a matter of waiting until the right moment and then broaching the subject in the correct way. With L so obviously impaired by his feelings, it had to work.

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**A/N (Author's Note):**

This is from a kink meme request on dn_kink2 on Livejournal. It should be three chapters when finished, which I'm fairly sure of because I have most of the rest of it already written.

The request said:

"Light x L, anal sex. L is on the receiving end, and he LOVES it. Your chioce if it is their first time doing it, how reluctant L is (but it should be consensual) etc. L should be vocal, and come so hard that he's a whimpering mess afterwards.

Kinks: well-fucked, anal

OP again: Oh yeah and the author has to mention L's sweet spot!"

I asked the OP about the dubious consent issues and got an okay for them. They aren't very bad, as dubious consent issues go, and have mainly to do with L changing his mind about whether he wants sex or not and having a mild panic attack.

Sorry about not getting the next chapters of "Big Bad L" out after nearly a month. I'm still making progress, but I had a number of very unexpected and time-consuming things happen during that month. I normally try to avoid uploading a first chapter of anything unless I'm sure that subsequent chapters will follow at a reasonable rate, and on "Big Bad L" I had thought that the second chapter would appear perhaps a few days later and then the third (and probably final) chapter would be the shortest of all, so I had thought it was safe to start uploading, but obviously I was wrong. I think I'll be able to finish up "Big Bad L" before too long.


	2. Resistance

**CHAPTER 2: Resistance**

On Light's chosen night, he waited until L was at the peak of his spooning and heavy breathing behaviors, and then whispered his observation gently, to avoid sounding too forceful or alarming.

"You're in love with me."

At the statement L's breath caught in his throat, and he said something that had the distinct tone of a swear word, but was in some language Light didn't recognize. L didn't move away. It felt like a small victory and Light wanted to smirk but he held it back, sure that L would go over the video footage later.

Light said, "You _are_ in love, then."

He could feel the sudden increase of tension in L's body, the stiffness of his muscles.

L said, "I am not."

Light paused for effect, and then answered, "Really? Is that the best you can come up with? No reasons or logic to support your statement? At the very least, you must admit you're attracted to me sexually. The evidence is right here."

Light pushed backwards, grinding against L's erection and making him gasp.

In a steady, deliberate voice, L said, "I'm not attracted to serial killers."

"I gave you my full confession and said I was sorry."

L hissed, "Do you really think that 'sorry' has any meaning when you've murdered three thousand, four hundred and eighty-one people?"

"Logically, what else can I say or do now? The past can't be changed."

"If you were truly sorry you would have shut down the Kira plan instead of murdering my co-workers and your own girlfriend in an attempt to continue it. Preferably, you would have shut down your demented scheme very early in your reign of terror. Do not talk to me about being sorry. I'm too intelligent to believe that you would have been sorry for any outcome other than being caught."

"Well," Light said, "you obviously need me, so perhaps you should explain to me why giving in to our mutual urges would be such a terrible thing, when resisting is clearly interfering with your ability to work effectively."

Light knew it had been a good guess when L's muscles suddenly got even stiffer.

_It is true. He's suffering even more than he's revealed to me._

L said, "It's a sleeping disorder. I have tried doctors, medicines, counseling, and even mechanical fixes such as attempting to sleep in a room of pure oxygen. My ability to sleep has always been poor, and I made the mistake of allowing my body to become habituated to your presence during our months chained together. Sleeping in the same bed as you is only a temporary measure until I can develop an alternative solution. I am not in love."

"Really?" Light said, and rolled over within L's grasp, bringing their faces close, noses almost touching as they lay together on their sides.

L's eyes went very wide, his breathing coming in gulps, his body wracked with little shivers that Light could feel as he grasped the detective closely. Light doubted that L had any lubricant close at hand, but there were many things that two intelligent males could think of that didn't require lube.

Breathing softly, Light closed the short distance between their lips. The moment of connection felt almost like an electric spark, and a surging warmth in Light's groin answered that spark as L melted into the kiss, lips hesitant but moving, moving against Light's own, soft and swollen and slightly chapped and so delicious. Light took control of the kiss, sliding one hand along L's jaw to hold him in place as he maneuvered his body on top of the detective, straddling him; their hardnesses pressed together, both restricted by only fabric.

It felt good to be on top of him, arms and legs entangled, claiming his mouth and kissing it, refusing to let go, making him respond back. Every area of contact was a source of intense longing, of wishing for the impeding cloth to be gone, to experience the pleasant shock of warm skin on warm skin. L was awkward and bony and with too many knees and elbows jutting everywhere, and yet everything fit just perfectly, their bodies slipping together and parts nestling into each available hollow.

Light broke the kiss to get a good look and to hopefully attend to the unneeded clothing. L was red-faced, wriggling underneath him. Light couldn't believe it could be a blush, not on L who had no true shame, but L was obviously worked up. He was panting, his fingers digging in the sheets, his eyes confused and sultry all at once.

Light pushed L's shirt up, displaying a long, smooth and lightly-muscled expanse of milky-pale stomach and chest, heaving from L's breaths, decorated with two deeply pink and erect nipples. Light couldn't resist and he leaned down to mouth one, sensuously licking it with his tongue and reveling in the responsive shivering of the man underneath him.

He scooted his entire body down, straddling L's knees, and hooked his fingers under the waistband of L's boxers, yanking them down all in one motion and causing the very obvious erection to spring free and stand nearly vertical, drunkenly swaying slightly to one side, flushed with color and very swollen, just beginning to leak pre-cum.

L said, "Stop it!"

There was a real note of panic in L's voice. His eyes were impossibly wide, a lost and frightened look glistening in their inky depths.

Light traced a finger along L's lower stomach, making L's dick twitch and the pre-cum drip out steadily faster, a series of pearly drops. L let out a soft, breathy moan as if trying unsuccessfully to stifle it. He was shivering as Light worked his way teasingly closer with small strokes of his finger-tip, circling the target with a lazy trail across L's abdomen and thighs.

It felt somehow wrong. Light couldn't quite get up the courage to grasp the object of his search, and so he whispered, "You could push me away if you wanted to, L. You do want this. You've been craving it and teasing me, using me for your desires. You owe-"

Watari's voice suddenly erupted from some hidden speaker, saying, "Light Yagami, if you do not withdraw your hands this instant, I will see to it that they are cut off."

Light scrambled over to his side of the bed and lay down, acutely conscious of the chains for the first time in minutes as he untangled the blankets from around them and pulled the blankets up over his body.

He didn't look at L, but he could hear the sound of clothing being pulled back into place and then the usual noises of L trying various positions, slowly and frustratingly attempting to settle into sleep without success.

After a time, L let out a big sigh and commanded, "Turn onto your side."

Light glanced at L and felt a small stab of pity at the utterly confused look in his eyes.

Light said to the room, "Watari, I'm not touching him, see? Don't hurt me."

L said, "I will see to it that Watari does not unduly punish you. Now, turn onto your side."

Light obeyed, and felt the familiar warm weight of L's body settling against his backside, accompanied by the obvious erection pressing against him, the clutching arms, and the speeding up of L's breathing. His own erection was almost painfully swollen, an intense ache needing relief.

"Really, L? We're back to this again?"

L replied, "I still require sleep and I do not see any reason to stop."

"You're giving me mixed messages."

"I'm not in love with you."

_He doesn't say he's not attracted to me, because that part is now too obvious._

"Let's try an experiment," Light said, "I'll let you rub against me as much as you want. If you wish, you can come. I think you'll get better sleep and function far more effectively at your tasks the next day."

L muttered, "That will... not work. I am not capable of having an orgasm that way."

"If we use something mildly slippery, any two opposing surfaces will be sufficient... you can put it between my thighs, or between both our stomachs, or into my armpit... if you bring real lubrication, we could even-"

L's breathing speeded up even more and he said, "Do not suggest these things! I am not a toy for you to play with, Kira! No matter how excited you have become as a result of my attempts to sleep, I do not owe you anything."

L's weight shifted in place and his arms tightened. Every part of him was so close, and yet too far away. The juncture between Light's legs positively throbbed, and he struggled to keep his thoughts clear.

Light said, "You're too proud to say what you want, aren't you?"

There was no answer.

"You're childish and you hate to lose."

L still said nothing.

Light said, "You've already won. You won, okay? It doesn't matter any longer. Whatever might happen between us is insignificant compared to that. It isn't about the past; it's about the future. If this is what you need to function, and you know that's true, just as well as I know it, then you should claim me as your prize."

With considerable venom in his voice, L said, "I don't _want_ to be sexually involved with you."

"You already are, and you're in denial about the nature of your involvement."

L was silent once again.

_I need a slightly different approach, or he'll simply continue to dig his heels in._

Light said, "You're not succumbing to me, L. I'm succumbing to you. Touch me and you'll know without a doubt."

L said, "It is ridiculous to take suggestions from-"

"I'm not a suspect anymore, and you know very well that this isn't an idea I implanted in your mind. You had the urge before I said anything. If you let this problem continue to consume your mind, then you'll have let the issue of Kira win against you in some small way."

Light spread his legs and added, "Here. Touch me as much as you want. I won't make you do anything and you can stop if you become uncomfortable."

L's fingers descended slowly, hesitating over Light's stomach, clutching in the fabric there as if afraid to go further down. Light waited patiently, and when L's breaths had become ragged, the fingers started moving again, like shy spiders slowly walking. They stopped at the hem of Light's pajama pants, resting there, testing the elastic band but not venturing further.

Light waited. He had an instinct that L would stop if any words were said at the wrong moment. It was not long until the fingers began venturing further, dipping under the clothing, into Light's underwear, warm presences against the skin of his groin, just shy of the target, stroking softly in place. The anticipation nearly managed to force words from Light's mouth, but he stayed silent, not willing to risk it.

Then, suddenly, L's hands moved, clasping together around Light's stiff organ, squeezing lightly yet exquisitely. Light closed his eyes and couldn't help but whisper, "Yes."

He wanted to drive his penis forward into the pocket formed by L's hands over and over again, but he stayed still, wriggling slightly in place, almost painfully aroused. He could feel L's matching erection pressed much more tightly against his thigh, slight movements of L's hips just barely moving it back and forth.

L's body was curled all around him, arms and legs clasping and inter-tangled, moist breath and tickling hair and layers of intruding cloth.

It was then that L began to stroke, firmly, in a determined and rhythmic way. Light closed his eyes and lost himself to the movements. Each bit of sliding force was almost too much and he moaned breathily as L continued to work, those hands showing more confidence, grasping more boldly.

Light felt L's teeth on his shoulder and understood.

"You can bite if you want to."

Light felt L's teeth biting hard, so hard he was sure it would leave a pink mark even through the fabric, wet and not too painful, and L was breathing so raggedly through his clenched teeth it was almost frightening, as if he'd just run a marathon, and Light snapped his hips rhythmically into the pressure and warmth of those busy, squeezing hands, building up and up, until he started coming.

L's hands paused and Light barely gasped out, "Don't stop," as he spurted more warmth, writhing in pleasure and then the hands slid again and Light threw back his head as his orgasm rose to a shuddering peak so intense that he forgot who and where he was for a few moments.

As Light came down from his high into a lazy, satisfied glow, L's hands withdrew, but L's breathing was as heavy as ever and his hips were grinding with a frantic tempo. Light took a few more gulps of air to get his breath back, and then he slowly, slowly turned around within L's grasp, ready to try a repeat of the disastrous first make out session.

This time L met his kisses more hungrily, and Light decided not to climb on top of him - perhaps that was what had touched off L's earlier panic - instead opting to lie facing him, side by side, but Light conspired to gradually descend along L's body, first moving the kisses to his neck, and then his chest.

When Light's mouth reached L's stomach, that was when the trembling started, and a kind of needy half-whine broke from L's lips every now and then, quickly bitten back. Light nuzzled his way down to the top edge of L's boxers, grasped the fabric in his teeth, and pulled them out of the way, returning with his mouth to lick and nuzzle beside L's painful-looking immensely swollen erection, not touching it at all except with the barest brushes of the side of his cheek.

L formed one hand into a fist and started nibbling along his knuckles.

Light breathed hotly in the direction of his target. It twitched, and Light was almost sure it had swelled even more in response.

Light whispered, "L, that's not good for you. It looks sort of purple. I think you need to let me help you come. As soon as you say so, I'll put it in my mouth."

Light looked up, and caught L's glare as L continued to nibble furiously at his knuckles.

"I'm sorry," Light said, "but you have to say it this time. I can't risk getting my body parts cut off."

L's eyes changed, the intense glare melting into a look of pity and confusion. He seemed as if he might say something at any moment, but the silence stretched out. Light kept L's penis twitching the entire time by repeatedly breathing in its direction.

At last, L closed his eyes and whispered, "Please!"

Light gave it a few test licks, tasting it, getting ready, and then, provoking a huge gasp from L, he enclosed the entire top part in his mouth, as much as he could get in without choking, and started a slow, steady rhythm, one designed to make sure it wouldn't just be an instant explosion. L needed to enjoy it, to get used to it, not to simply get a quick release that he could quickly forget about.

Light wrapped his hands around the lower part of the shaft, feeling the soft skin sliding easily over the swollen hardness beneath, hiding a smirk as he saw L suddenly put his whole fist in his mouth, making muffled sounds around it, red-faced and squirming, looking uncomfortable, immensely turned on, and oh so sultry. There was something unguarded, honest and real in L's eyes for once.

L took out his fist and muttered, "I can't... faster."

Light complied, and saw a sudden tenseness in L's body, his spine jerking into an arch. He felt the throbbing in his mouth, and the next moment a salty explosion. L's eyes were closed, his mouth a perfect circle, his face suffused with color, his chest heaving with strong panting as he emptied in several more spurts. His body finished and crumpled, limp onto the sheets. Already, he was starting to seem more like the usual L again, and not the startlingly erotic being Light had seen for far too short a time.

L curled into a ball, uncurled, and then pulled his clothing back into place as his eyes became shifty, his gaze wandering here and there, up and down. L retreated to the furthest part of the bed and crouched there. The expression on his face looked a little bit dangerous, so Light hung back, giving him space.

The detective nibbled on his finger, knees clutched to his chest and nervous eyes darting back and forth. He muttered, "I don't like you, Kira!"

"Kira is only one part of my mind, and you know it is a part that will be destroyed completely when you burn my death note or when the time limit for my memories runs out."

"I do not know this for a fact. There are no conclusive tests I can perform beforehand, to be completely sure of that."

Light replied, "It's not my word you'll be taking. You proved my memory was erased before to your own satisfaction, and you know that you're able to tell when I'm acting, or at least you can tell well enough to detect something like that. I couldn't seem authentic to you if I were trying to feign missing memories for days and days on end."

L's gaze dropped to the floor and he nibbled his finger harder than ever. He looked forlorn and depressed.

After a time, L said, "I suppose this means I have much to think about."

"If you reject me and then have me executed, you'll regret it for the rest of your life, even if you fall out of love with me. You'll always wonder if it was an immorally-motivated killing, because I failed to become the wished-for lover that you could have accepted easily."

In a low, quiet monotone, L said, "I have already thought of that. I am not unaware of the negative consequences your execution could bring. There are many reasons why you are still alive, and these reasons do not now go away simply because of our... involvement."

Light said, "You don't quite understand what it's like to own a death note. There's some kind of magic in the process of ownership, a magic that makes you want to try it."

"Do not try to fool me. You may have killed one or two victims innocently in the beginning, but over the course of Kira's career you obviously made many killing decisions based on your own desires."

"Think of it this way: if I had never picked up the death note, I would be a perfectly suitable lover for you, correct?"

After a pause, L replied, "You are correct."

"Well, whenever you burn my death note, or let my memories run out, then I'll be exactly as if I'd never picked up a death note. Even I won't know the difference. If you want me to be a suitable lover for you, the power to make me that way is always in your hands."

L closed his eyes and looked very, very tired. He muttered, "Turn around."

"What?"

"In case you had forgotten, I still need to sleep. Turn around."

Light settled onto his side and felt the familiar sensation of L cuddling close behind, the detective sighing and gradually falling asleep.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

There is a lot of conflict in this chapter, mainly L's internal conflict and his determination to not give in to his emotions. I hope the dub-con aspects didn't go too far. I was trying to make them towards the mild end of the dub-con spectrum.

When I think about L's canon personality, I think that if he found himself sexually attracted to Light he would probably wish he wasn't attracted and try to go into denial. Plus, I wanted a reverse of the usual fanfic captivity situation, where usually the captor takes advantage of the captive. L takes some advantage of Light with his forced spooning that Light is initially uninterested in, but Light takes far more of an advantage of L.

The actual request details are being fulfilled in the third chapter, which will hopefully appear within a few days.


	3. Victory

**CHAPTER 3: Victory**

Light woke up to L tangled around him, but instead of L trying to disengage, as he usually did in the mornings, he only snuggled closer at Light's first slight stirring movements.

_I've won, then. He's decided he wants this; he wants me. After all we did last night, there's no going back to the way it used to be._

L slithered around, pressing Light down and ending up on top, in almost a parody of his usual knee-hugging posture, horizontal instead of vertical, nose-to-nose with Light but with his legs pulled up and folded between their bodies. Light felt L's knees on his shoulders, L's entire folded-up body pressing down on his chest, making it hard to breathe, L's hands tangled in his hair, L's breathing ragged, his mouth approaching.

Between gasps, Light said, "You don't weigh much, but this... is too much weight... in one place."

In response, L stopped the nearly-completed kiss and rearranged his bony body, slipping downwards and stretching out his legs, until he was lying full-length on top, clinging closely. Light felt L's fingers slipping between their bodies, working on the buttons of his pajama-top and, after a few were opened, enough to bare a nipple, L set to work with a series of slow, sensuous licks.

Their groins were pressed together, and Light could feel just how much L wanted it. L thrust a knee between to spread Light's legs even more, L's warm hardness settling closer as a result. Everything fit together quite perfectly except for the layers of cloth in the way.

"These desires of mine are perverse," L said, as he trailed a finger down across Light's ribs.

After a pause, L added, "You are a _serial killer_. I should not be having sexual thoughts about you."

"Was. I _was_ a... serial killer. That is all in the past."

L abruptly stopped and rolled away. He withdrew to the furthest corner of the bed and said, "My body is eager to continue, but I am not ready for this. I need to make some decisions away from your distracting presence."

L stood up partway and did his odd half-stepping half-jumping move to exit the bed, lightly landing on his feet, the move smoothly transitioning into a rapid walk. He reached the door and waited, not glancing backwards at all, and then, after a few deep breaths, exited through it.

Light didn't see him again for three days.

The next time, Light was brought to the usual bedroom, where L was already present, but Light didn't get chained to the bed. The atmosphere was slightly different, and there were additional objects in the room. To one side of the bed, there was a small table covered with an assortment of bottles of different kinds of alcohol, two shot glasses, and a small box of items that on closer inspection turned out to be lubricants, condoms, latex gloves, and a small vibrator.

L was sprawled on the bed in the exact opposite of his usual posture. L was on his back, his arms and legs spread wide instead of being drawn close to his body. It looked... wrong, somehow. He was staring at the ceiling with a rather glum look.

L said, "The plan is... that I will get very, very drunk, and then we'll be able to have sex for the first time."

Light replied, "What are you talking about? L, we've already had sex. You gave me a hand job. I gave you a blow job. You know, some men never do anything more. Is this time so different that you believe you have to be drunk out of your mind to go through with it?"

"I disagree. What happened three days ago between us... that was not sex. I need sex."

"Do you want me inside you?"

L answered, "Perhaps _I'll_ be the one inside _you_, but, yes, I require more."

Light sat down on the edge of the bed and traced a finger along L's side. L shivered in response and then began to sit up, one arm outstretched in the direction of the alcohol. Light quickly climbed on top, blocking L's reach with his own body.

"No," Light said, from where he was crouched over L's prone form, "you won't get yourself drunk."

L scowled upward and said, "I'd rather not remember this afterwards."

"You want to get that drunk? If you get drunk now, there's not going to be any fucking. I'll refuse. I'd feel bad if I took you that way, and I know you'd feel bad too."

"You're not going to let me? I had this all planned out."

Light licked along L's collarbone and made him moan.

"We'll do this," Light breathed, "the right way, or not at all. What do you choose?"

_I've got him. He can't resist._

Light palmed the growing bulge in L's crotch and said, "You're getting hard already."

The rationality left L's eyes, and all at once he was a warm, hungry, demanding presence, licking and tasting and _oh, that mouth _and the clothing was coming off, L so impatient he was ripping the buttons from Light's clothes. Light was just barely able to grapple L's slinky form well enough to pull the man's shirt over his head and then they were both grabbing at each other beneath the waist, restlessly, frustratingly. It wasn't enough.

L's pale, slender chest was laid out all below Light, for him to ravage with his lips, licking and sucking and _claiming_ L with marks sucked hard into the skin, like bright red bruises blossoming on the milky flesh. All along, he palmed the warm, firm flesh between L's legs and it twitched for him.

He kissed L's exposed hipbones, delicate arches that showed just above the hemline of L's jeans, and said, "Do you want me to suck on it?"

In response to those words, the bulge under Light's hand was suddenly much harder and larger.

L flipped them both over so he was on top and said, "No, I don't want you to suck it. I'm going to fuck you, for real."

"I'll be on top," Light said, and suddenly they were wrestling, each trying to pin the other, rolling over and over in a tangle of the last pieces of shedding clothing and warm, bare skin.

It was impossible to win. L was slinky, devious, and strong, making the most use of his thin, wiry muscles. When L was stretched out like this naked, not hunched over in baggy clothing, it was clear that the two of them were exactly the same height and nearly the same weight. They were matched and it took all of Light's strength and wits to merely break even. It was soon obvious that L was having exactly the same problem.

Between pants, Light said, "We can settle this... by a contest... whoever is best at... stimulating the other's sweet spot... gets to top."

The struggle stopped instantly, with L technically on top but not trying to hold Light down any longer.

L said, "You think you'll win because you have more experience?"

"Were you a virgin with men before I sucked your cock?"

L glanced away and didn't answer.

"Fine," Light said, "but it doesn't matter. It's a fair contest. You're a fast learner, and, anyway, sex will be better for both of us if the person who gets to penetrate is better at finding and manipulating the sweet spot. I wouldn't be surprised if the one who excels in that skill manages to top most or all of the time in the future."

L muttered, "All of the time seems a bit extreme."

"If the top is skilled enough, the bottom will beg to be on the bottom. He won't think anything of it, because that's how he'll receive the greatest pleasure."

L tilted his head to the side and stared.

Light said, "You don't really know much about this, do you?"

"My education was more... informational than experiential, but I am not entirely lacking in experience. Do not think you can manipulate me because of this. It will not work."

Light smiled and said, "I won't need to manipulate you. I'll prove every one of my assertions to your satisfaction."

At the exact same moment that Light said, "satisfaction," L licked his lips.

_I really do have him. I'll make him scream and gasp and beg._

It was a warm, glowing feeling in Light's heart, to have L so eager, so dependant, so ready to be educated. It almost felt wrong, but it was a very sweet feeling. He reached over to the box of supplies and extracted the small vibrator, holding it up for L's inspection.

Light said, "This vibrator is not suitable for anal use because it doesn't have a flared base."

"I wasn't thinking of leaving it in during sex. I'll only be using it when I'm holding on to it, and of course I won't let go."

"Intending to not let go - that's an easy way to have it disappear inside, and then end up at a hospital getting it removed. An excited anus can suck things deep within very unexpectedly."

Light tossed the vibrator to the floor and then said, "Fingers only. Are you up to the challenge?"

L had a latex glove on so quickly that Light could hardly believe it, still struggling to get his own glove on. Then they were jostling, fighting over the lubrication, getting in each other's way as they both tried to reach behind. L was probably doing it on purpose.

"Here, this is best," Light said, and pulled them down into a side-by-side position, lying facing each other.

Light reached between L's legs, and L mirrored his movements. At the same moment that Light penetrated L with a lube-slickened latex-clad finger, L did the same to him. L's finger was fumbling, inexperienced, but Light curled his finger up right into L's prostate, precisely rubbing.

The detective's eyes widened, impossibly wide, and he started breathing more heavily, hitching his top leg up further. L was still fighting it, trying to jab around inside Light, but he was caught, so obviously caught and defeated.

L was striking the right spot some of the time, but Light kept his face free of any evidence of that, allowing L no clues and forcing him to move on.

A thrill of victory ran through Light. It was nice to forget, to be immersed in this new game, this new way to combat boredom. He stroked inside L fiercely, precisely, against that one internal spot and watched L becoming more helpless. Their erections were already close, in that enclosed space between their bodies and Light allowed them to bump together, relishing the physical feeling and the emotional rush of seeing L's reaction to it, ever more needy. His face was beautiful, and Light kissed it.

L gasped into the kiss and spread his legs more, for easier access.

Pressing and stimulating relentlessly, Light mumbled against L's face, "Your sweet spot is right here. Feel that? Can't you deduce where mine is?"

L didn't answer. Where Light was probing, the flesh was taking on a soft, spongy quality, the spot swelling under Light's skilled touches, a kind of internal erection. It was now easy to locate and to stroke, and L reacted beautifully, squirming, gasping, undecided about whether to nibble on his free hand or not, making little half-hearted thrusts backwards towards Light's impaling finger. Light quickly increased it to two fingers, and then three.

L's own efforts were wavering, intermittent, as if L kept forgetting that this was a contest and he was supposed to be competing. L tried to worm in a second finger but failed.

There was a sense of L's hole trying to suck in Light's hand, internal muscles fluttering, undecided about whether they wanted to clench down or to flare open to eagerly receive everything.

It was clearly a victory. He could see the acknowledgement of that victory on L's face.

Light peeled off his own latex glove, inside-out, and threw it into the trash. Then he did the same for L; the detective wasn't very aware of his environment any more, and he had such a tendency to stick his fingers into his mouth.

_It's best if it's not face-to-face, considering that L doesn't want to acknowledge this is happening._

Light arranged L's unresisting body on to all fours and knelt behind him, sliding his erection between L's ass cheeks, finding that ring of muscles, all prepared, wet and ready. Light pressed forward. L tensed at the moment of penetration and it was difficult to get even the tip inside. L shivered, looking back over his shoulder. Light rocked in place, not going in or out at all but subtly changing the angle.

"Oh!" L said, "Oh!"

He spread his legs wide, an intense expression of concentration on his face. He shuddered as Light fed in a little more length, L's sphincter spasming wildly at the intrusion.

It wouldn't all fit in, but that was fine. Light began to thrust in and out of the portion he could get into.

Light said, "The key to sex is to turn off your brain."

Unexpectedly, it slipped in all the way and L cried out, loudly, passionately. Further in it was warmer, deliciously warmer and sensuously tight. Light gripped L's hips, resting for a moment and resisting the part of his body that was all too ready to have an orgasm instantly, and then, when he felt he had it under control, he pulled out and slammed back in, hard.

"Ah! Light!"

There were no reservations in that voice any more, and none on L's face. He looked ready to be fucked silly. Somehow, L's body was the best thing that had ever happened to Light. He wanted to pummel it hard, to slam into it, to rub L raw deep within and make him beg and cry out and come harder than he ever had in his life. The desire felt a little insane.

Instead, Light settled into a steady rhythm, as much as he could take, panting, his most sensitive part gripped so tightly by L's internal muscles, that body flexing around him, pulling him deep, almost a sensation of suction each time he pushed in. He wanted to push and push and push, over and over, and he was, the instinctual nature of the process overwhelming him.

To his satisfaction, L was far more deeply overwhelmed. He'd fallen onto his elbows and his whole body thrashed in response to Light's thrusts, wriggling like a hooked fish, often drifting too far forward but then pressing himself back to the vital point of connection.

Light breathed, "You've always wanted me inside you like this."

L didn't bother to deny it.

Light stopped thrusting and almost pulled out entirely, just for the pleasure of watching L weakly gather enough strength into his body to press backwards, seeking deeper penetration and whimpering piteously. Light couldn't stand it for long and soon picked up the same frenzied tempo.

L was drifting forward too much, his efforts to right his body becoming too uncoordinated, so Light hooked both arms under L's stomach and wrenched him backwards. The angle was suddenly better. Light thrust and thrust, feeling L's neglected cock flopping stiffly against his linked arms.

L said, "Please! That spot!"

There was such a sense of life within L, of holding his body and being inside him, and smelling the scent of L, and of sex and arousal all around them, two warm bodies doing just what they were meant to do. L was trembling hard. It was a marvel to see.

L couldn't even hold the front half of his body up any more, arms slumping until his shoulders hit the bed, his neck twisted to look backwards but obviously not really supporting his weight. No, Light was supporting it all on his own arms linked underneath L's stomach.

A finger absently found its way to L's mouth and he sucked on it between gentle bites, not hard enough to leave pink marks. It didn't stop him from vocalizing as Light continued to press in and pull out relentlessly, continuing on his quest to make L come from internal stimulation, to make him like it so much that the cravings would bring him back again and again, begging for more, eagerly opening his legs just for Light to thrust in.

L's ability to use words had collapsed to the simplest statements, only a little more than, "Please," and "Yes!" and "There," and "Don't stop!".

It was interspersed with completely non-verbal communication: long, drawn-out breaths and whimpers and beseeching looks that L cast back over his shoulder.

There was a kind of electricity between them, a warm and flowing sense of bodies joined in more ways that just the physical, actions and reactions so closely intertwined that it felt almost psychic. L's body was a puppet, limp in all ways except for that stiff organ between his legs, his body ready and willing to be played and positioned just as Light wanted, his warm and slippery insides accepting all that Light had to give.

L's erection strained upward against Light's wrists, leaking a mess of pre-cum. L let out a long, low moan, his back arching and twisting, and Light drove into him with unchecked force. L was shouting, shouting louder, some recognizable words but mostly a mess of foreign gibberish or English too fast to make much sense.

It was difficult to feel where L began and where he ended. The blended feeling was getting worse and then Light was dimly aware of the strongest trembles he'd felt yet making their way through L's body, of white liquid squirting out onto the sheets below them, of L's words turning into a moan once more.

It was too much to take and all the excitement began spilling out of Light too, throbbing deep inside L, being milked out of him, sucked far within by L's internal contractions. One of L's feet was visible and the toes were curling and curling again.

Collapsing.

L was collapsing worse than ever and Light was too, still coming, still embedded just where he wanted to be. That body took him utterly, suffusing him with hot bursts of bliss. It was almost too much, that body. It was great, the greatest thing ever.

Light finished and pulled out and blinked, his mood buoyant and tired and satisfied, and they were all in a heap of twisted bodies, arms and legs jutting at all angles. L's face was just out of kissing distance and tears were running down it.

He was sobbing, actually crying. L didn't look sad; it was either happiness or simply an enormous outpouring of emotion, possibly many tangled emotions mixed together. Light could feel that L was damaged somehow. Perhaps he'd always been damaged, and this was simply what happened when L was forced to be real, when his masks were all stripped away and his lies exposed.

L without dishonesty was a different person altogether, but not entirely a new person. Light felt that he had known this person all along. This was the person Light had caught small glimpses of from time to time all throughout his acquaintanceship with L. There had been many brief moments when Light was sure he had been the only one to peek behind L's masks.

This was the real man, L himself.

Light said, "You enjoy my mind working alongside your own."

It wasn't a question, merely a simple statement of fact. They both knew it was true.

It was a long time they were tangled in that heap. L was like a cat, apparently able to relax in the most awkward positions, his long body stretched out, languid and slinky. His eyes didn't shy away from Light's gaze any more. He gazed back, his large black eyes mostly blank, yet with something alive stirring in the depths, a sort of wonderment, a new kind of life.

When Light felt the moment was right he said, "You know I wouldn't try to escape, as long as my prison is reasonably pleasant. There's nothing for me to run to. There's no death note that I could find, I'm sure. There are no followers who would be safe enough for me to trust. I wouldn't be able to return to my family or to college."

L blinked a few times and then simply stared while Light enjoyed the warm weight of L's slung-over arm and leg resting on him.

At last, L asked, "What do you want, Light?"

"I want to work cases with you. I want a larger place to live in, and frequent social interaction. Isolation is cruel and against human rights. You could continue using me as your fuck toy and nothing else, but this would eventually do harm to you. Let's do what both of us want. We're a beautiful team. You know that you can erase the part of me that is dangerous for extra protection as well. Before Kira, I only ever wanted to be a detective."

L sighed and said, "My logic tells me that you are correct, but..." L trailed off, as if searching for the right words.

Light said, "You don't trust me, of course. Do whatever you need, to create a secure environment. I'm sure you already do most of your work from inside very secure environments, so what is a little more security on top of that?"

"Watari will take some convincing, and I will need to give you small amounts of freedom in progressive stages."

_I've won!_

Light tried to keep the elation off his face, but when he saw L smiling at him, he realized how pointless the old habit was. Of course a prisoner should be happy at the news of a little more freedom. He grabbed the back of L's neck and pulled him into another kiss.

"Mmmmmpphff!"

L's lips tasted perfect, and Light realized that the tension wasn't gone. He wanted to tip L onto his back and fuck him hard. His mouth descended to L's neck, licking there and reveling in L's speeded-up breathing and clutching fingers.

In a very small voice, L said, "Yes. Fuck me."

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

This is the last chapter. Yes, I sometimes end works on what appears to be a lead-in to another sex scene, sorry about that but at least it shows the relationship will continue.

I'm also sorry about how long it took to finish this fic. I had no idea this last chapter (which I already had a lot written of) would take so long to be completely finished. In between the second chapter and this, I had scheduling issues, a long illness, and a deadline from a big bang challenge I had committed to, so that for a time I was forced to devote all of my writing energy to "Let's All Be Friends Together" (and probably ended up writing some of it weirdly from being loopy on the pain medicine).

I think of Light as someone who isn't inherently evil. He was a basically good person with some personality flaws who got corrupted by the death note. He does become evil, but his level of morality starts out fairly high and becomes worse and worse through time.

If Light could time-travel and meet himself, I believe early!Kira would disapprove of the level to which late!Kira had sunk. Because of this basic goodness that was inside Light originally and his progressive corruption, I think Light would be able to recognize his mistakes if he was put in the right circumstances. It wouldn't be easy, because he's full of denial, but it would be possible.

He is also unlike any real criminal in that there is a way to instantly rehabilitate him and restore his original good personality. Canon Light doesn't even support Kira if he thinks Kira is someone other than himself. Canon L never obtains this information on how to restore the original Light, so we don't know if L would ever choose to "cure" Light instead of turning him over to the authorities, but I think L would if just the right circumstances presented.

I tried to create some plausible circumstances for this in this fanfic. It isn't what Light deserves. Light still killed what had to be probably thousands of people. Other murderers don't get clemency deals, they get killed by Light. Rehabilitating Light isn't an act of justice, it is either an act of mercy or an act of expediency (if it turns out to be the easiest or most beneficial course of action).


End file.
